A Triangular Existence.

7:30 AM. Both arms into my red coat, both feet into my autumn boots, and I pull one end of my scarf around my head and onto both of my shoulders, draping it just right. It's a stunning, dewy morning--I have a cup of coffee in hand and I'm off for a walk while I pray. I discovered that if I'm walking and praying, I'm not as prone to falling back to sleep. The morning is exceptionally crisp, and my lungs are delighting in the fresh breaths of unadulterated morning air.

There's a specific kind of people who wake up early in the morning. I'm not referring to the early-to- rise workers. I mean the early-to-rise neighborhood people--those who water their lawns, walk their dogs, go on jogs, sit on their front porches, or just walk around with coffee in hand waving to others passing by. Friendly mornings. For some in Long Beach, this is true to a greater degree. Just as the city carries an air of character, history, uniqueness and surprise, so do its people. 

The walk I took this morning was enough to remind me of something that I seemed to have forgotten since school started, as life has gotten busier than usual. There is something (actually, there are many things) about this city that truly has a place in more than a bit of my heart. I cannot get away from it--not that I want to.

Here's my dilemma. I live a triangular existence. My life (in the micro sense), is shaped by three points on the Southern Californian map: Long Beach, La Mirada, and Costa Mesa. The idea/or desire of wanting to consolidate the main cities in my life has been quite regular these days--with alternating sentiments of burden and relief. I'm at school for the majority of my week, I'm out in Costa Mesa at RockHarbor at least 2 out of the 7 days, and I sleep, eat and lounge in Long Beach. For a split second I considered moving to save on gas, but the idea of leaving this city along with all that it means to me now just didn't sit well. I'm still praying for clarity on how best to maneuver in the spaces I'm in right now, and I know change is around the corner. I do know that the change, for now anyway, does not entail me leaving this city that has been and continues to be home to me. His Spirit is stirring here, and I am beyond blessed to be a part of that (in whatever fashion).


To be continued...

I'm humbled that this passage has marked what I see happening in the city I currently call home:
"But an hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for such people the Father seeks to be His worshipers. God is spirit and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth." John 4:23-24

What Colors My [Our] Vision?

Don't you just love those mornings when you wake up knowing that it's just going to be one of those days? Today was one for me. I set my alarm for 6:30 and had plans for my morning. My body and mind felt exhausted as the sound of my alarm finally traveled to my ears, and I simply hoped that I wasn't a potential flu victim. Three hours later, I forced myself out of bed and got a glimpse of the gloomy weather outside. Normally, I would be elated by this kind of weather. Today it just seemed to put me in a funk. Or...maybe I was already in a funk.

I left for school at a pretty standard time and once I got onto campus, the parking lots were FULL! Studying for a quiz at every red light,  I knew I'd get to school just in time for class. Normally, the lots don't fill up around the time my first class starts. Today was the exception. Well, I ended up driving around for about half an hour--nada!! I parked in a visitor spot and headed to class. The quiz was already over--missed it. As I settled my mind and my body into class, I knew I'd end up finding a parking violation on the windshield of my car once class was over.

Maybe today is just one of those overly emotional days--I'm a girl; these days happen ever so often. I cried on my way over to school, forgot things I needed at home, felt incredibly overwhelmed with the stuff on my plate, and the whole parking/quiz situation unraveled-- I was almost waiting for the next thing from the list of "Great, what's next...?" to show itself, but that thought was squelched rapidly as I got out of my car as I parked for the second time--in a legitimate spot.

The gloominess of the weather (or at least my perception of it) dispelled and was replaced by the coolest, most refreshing embrace of brisk, fall air. I especially felt it around my face, but it was a lovely and slow soaking in of this almost breeze. One deep breath after the next.

Eyes closed. Slow exhales.

I made sure to take in a few of these before snapping back into the grid of my schedule.

It's fascinating how those "Hey, slow down" moments have great power in giving me enough space to regather, refocus and remember how good things are despite the little annoyances that do pop up every now and then.

The idea of becoming numb to the blessings and gifts in my life is alarming, and I know that if I'm not intentional about it, it will happen. In these moments, I'm most reminded that it's all in the ignorable things: flowers budding, sunsets, intensely green leaves on towering trees, a sprouting plant, a blanket of stars in the sky, the glorious sound of waves crashing, the fact that I have a car, an education, a community of people in my life, food at every meal, my health, clean air to breathe (usually), the ability to walk, to breathe, etc... The list is honestly endless.

There's a reason why we're told to count our blessings. It gives us perspective, and it reveals the Father's heart for us. Thank you for coloring our world the way You do. I ask for eyes that will allow me to see my surroundings more vibrantly and in their truest shades. Let not my circumstances taint my vision of who You are.

Alright, a few more moments with the almost breeze before the last class of the night...

Finally.

The breath of Fall is finally upon us, and I'm hopeful in saying that in spite of inconsistent and strange SoCal weather,  it is going to linger around for a while. (An aside: I envy any of you who get the privilege of having a natural backdrop full of blankets of richly colored leaves.)

The season has changed, but I know in my gut that it is so much more than that. We are entering into a season of change (a launching pad for greater and greater things). I don't say this to be overly dramatic or conjure something up that isn't true.

You can taste it.

It's going to be a continued breaking of foundations of complacency and those being replaced by ones driven by fierce intentionality, purpose and power. We are living in a time when this generation (I guess I mean mine) as well as those before us is going to learn to live better by loving better.

Spirit, we ask you to empower us and fill us with a greater measure of your love--that we might behold more of your glory manifested in grace and truth.

Friends, let's pursue lives that are different--ones that are compelling because they are are so compelled by Love.

"The Spirit is the one who gives life! Human strength can do nothing. The words that I have spoken to you are from that life-giving Spirit."John 6:63


I leave you with these lyrics from Sleeping At Last's "Heaven Breaks:"

It always starts like this,
A harmless an simple thing to fix.
Contagious and spreading quick...
Like cracks in ice,
Wholly claiming our lives
While we sleep.

We'll pray for Heaven's floor to break,
Pour the brightest white on blackest space,
Come bleeding gloriously through
The clouds and the blue.
Forcing on place from two,
Filling formulaic views,
Only love proves to be the truth.

When heaven meets the earth,
We will have no use for numbers
To measure who we are and what we're worth.

When Heaven meets the earth,
We will have no need for mirrors
To tell us who to be
And where we fit into this awkward point of view.

When angels meet the earth, may our bodies be light.
When angels meet the earth, may our heavy hearts untie.
When angels meet the earth, may our bodies be light.
May our bodies be light for You.